We all finer than a diner in Carolina up in this hizzouse, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Wax on, Paris off
In the movie “House of Wax” Paris Hilton’s character gets murdered with a spike through her head. Initially Nicole Richey fought to play the role of the spike.

In the movie “House of Wax” Paris Hilton’s character gets murdered with a spike right through her head. Now that’s what I call hot.

In real life a spike in her head wouldn’t kill Paris Hilton. To kill Paris Hilton you’d have to take her credit cards away.

He was seen later in a hotel room smoking crack with Marion Berry
Hard core outspoken anti-gay Spokane mayor James West was caught trying to lure men in a gay chat room. It would seem West’s motto is: Do what I say, not who I do.

When confronted, James was so embarrassed he was downright Magenta-faced.

West tried to cover for himself saying; “I personally resolve to find and get rid of every gay man even if I have to do it one sexy stud muffin at a time.”

Giambi gambit
In Oakland a fan tried to throw a beer at Jason Giambi. But, like Giambi, the fan couldn’t hit anything either.

Giambi was actually relieved when the fan threw a beer at him. Finally he hit something.

Janet Jacksister

Janet Jackson turned 39 this week. She’s getting up there. Now the only time Janet flashes her breast is to cool off during a hot flash.


Janet is getting up there. I can remember when she was just known as Michael Jackson’s younger sister. No Michael is known as Janet’s older sister.

Janet is getting up there. Remember those Super Bowl nipple rings? Now they double as belt jewelry.


Trouble in paradise
British tabloids say Camilla Parker Bowles has barred Prince Charles from the bedroom. That or Prince Charles had to put a bar in the bedroom. It’s one of those.

British tabloids say Camilla Parker Bowles has barred Prince Charles from the bedroom. Or as Prince Charles calls his being barred from Camilla’s bedroom: My Early Father’s Day present.

Or something like that

Saddam Hussein is writing his memoirs in prison. I think the book’s called; “Murderous Dictatorship for Dummies.”

Ewwww
The Pro Tennis tour is going to start using blue tennis courts instead of green. This is different then when Anna Kournakova used to play and guys would have to play with blue balls.